Dubai is a contradiction built upon a huge risk. Thirty years ago the 'airport' was a sand strip and a wooden hut. Then the Sheikh in charge thought, I know, I'll build an international port, dredge the river to allow in freight and then turn it into one of the world's great economic success stories.
Built with huge swathes of cheap labour imported up the river from India and Pakistan, it has nevertheless brought livelihoods that wouldn't otherwise exist and given people great purpose and focus. In a sense its been an army critical mission to get from the desert to the deep blue sea. But now there is more land and more wealth growing day upon hot day.
I've been watching Dubai grow for about six years now. It faltered slightly like all economies did with the worldwide credit crunch but lived on through resources rich reserves, believing in itself in a way that you don't really see except in China.
There was a vision, a plan and a gamble. No one thought it was a great idea when the Sheikh started. In fact, they tried to talk him out of it. He had to borrow the cash to get his way but once he'd started, there was no stopping him. Of course, like many great visions and plans, you've got nothing if you don't execute - just do it. Try and fail. Fail but keep trying. That sort of thing.He kept on and on and on.
Dubai isn't to everyone's taste. To be honest, until I read the Sheikh's story on the plane on the way out, it definitely wasn't to mine. I really, really, nearly didn't get on the plane last Thursday. I had an industrial strength wobble about going. After six months of being unwell after the bike ride and not really going out for ages, apart from working, I just felt like an empty shell. And one thing Dubai won't suffer gladly, is empty shells.
Somehow, I forced myself to drive to Manchester and get on the plane. Encouragement from friends helped but mostly, I thought that a rest is as good as a change so if I was going to stay in and sleep as I have been doing all weekend, every weekend for ages, this is the time to do it in a hotel room 7hrs away from home. Illness has its consequences. In me, it has taken my confidence away.
I was late to check in, saw Jedward lurking in the recesses and generally thought about bolting for the emergency exit but didn't and boarded amid tears and anxiety. I planned to say I'd been bereaved if anyone asked. True actually. Grief for a close family member has a complex effect.
Anyway, the One&Only Royal Mirage Arabian Court awaited me and in all my many Dubai experiences, the rooftop bar there has always had an extraordinary pull for me. Meeting up with the Girls there on Friday night was the best Fizz Friday I could ever have had.
I only knew one of them personally but we were immediately Friends for Life. Like Big Brother, only natural selection is a great differentiator.
We haven't stopped laughing and giggling these past five days. All of us have suffered with loss. It is a terrible affliction - particularly when those we have lost are still alive or living other lives.
Four strong, resilient, talented, beautiful woman, all brought down by Loss and trying to find a way through it. Hard days, easier days, days to forget and days to remember - we four had our reasons for all of them.
With each other, we could swap and share stories, build insight and develop empathy. We all know how each other feels. But how to live beyond it, is what's hard. How do we carry on living when all we know has gone?
I'm not sure that we found our answers but in companionship and friendship, we regained some spirit. As a team we were inseparable, united and greater than the sum of our upset parts. Particularly the sum of those parts at this time.
I know you need strong teams in life. I had the best team around me in my old life. You have to build it, slowly. You have to develop trust and responsibility, encouragement and ownership. And then push on in pursuit of your vision. I think our lives were pushed together to remind us that isolation in distress is not a good plan. Togetherness in misery is a wholly better look.
We didn't do anything mad or mental - except each adopt a Sex in the City persona. I was Charlotte. Probably because I'm the most like Charlotte in real life, really. Its just that I never had the chance. I was too busy working.
Not so in the New Life. In September after my 'Gap Year' ends, I start again. This time, Sarah's Rules. The exciting part about new beginnings and fresh journeys is that you are charge of navigation. No one can tell you what to do. I suppose its scary as well as exciting but exciting none the less.
A time to build new teams and do something valuable. Believe, dream, do and make. I saw a really encouraging anthem this weekend. For those with good eyesight, I attach it. A Desiderata for modern times.
Instinctively, we know it all. But life's incremental decisions cause dream creep. We get pushed around by the rules and forget what's in our hearts. Perhaps Loss is a way to break your heart and then mend it anew, with fresh ambition and a lot of dreams. If we still wake, we must live and in living, we must be true - to ourselves, to our families and to our friends.
I have felt like me for the first time in many, many years this weekend. The challenge is to take me back and stay true. I think its possible. I believe in my plan. All I have to do now is follow the Sheikh.
